I adore weekends and the time we get to spend with the baby. I definitely have frequent waves of "I'm-a-terrible-mom" syndrome as I struggle to balance work and family and deal with the realities of opening a new school as a first year principal while also learning the ropes as a first time mom. It means juggling all the demands on my time in a way that gets everything done while still feeling like I'm putting first things first--not always successful on that front (thus the "I'm-a-terrible-mom" moments).
Sergio and I both work long hours, but we've come to understand the fact that, given where we are in our respective careers, this just has to be. We're doing a good job of tag-teaming it with the baby and finding ways to support each other rather than resent each other for time spent working. I'm so thankful for such a hands-on husband--who changes diapers, cleans spit-up, prepares bottles, and takes the baby to the pediatrician like no other. Serg has morning duty--he does everything to get Michael ready for day care and drops him off, while I take over in the afternoon. I leave work by 5:30 to pick up the baby, and we enjoy a few hours together before Serg gets home from teaching his evening Wing Chun classes. It gets a little more tricky when you throw in presidency meetings, family literacy nights, book studies, parent/teacher conferences, and all the other evening events I find myself needing to go to while Serg is still working.
All in all, balancing work and motherhood takes a new level creativity and quite a sense of humor. Case in point: (and just know that the anecdote I'm about to share could be considered by some to be too much information, but those of you with kids know that after childbirth there's practically nothing sacred anymore, so I'm gonna share it anyway) ...I am trying desperately to make sure Michael's diet still consists primarily of breastmilk. This means I need to pump periodically throughout the day, sometimes in less than ideal places....like supply closets or offices with chart paper plastered all over the door window.
Well, our new school still has no office (we're waiting on the city for a permit to turn on power in the portables), so my principal's office currently consists of a desk in the hall. Let me also add that, because we're building in phases, our first building has fairly large student restrooms but only one private staff bathroom, a bathroom that also doubles as a janitorial supply closet. This is the only place I can privately pump, so I drag in a chair (in spite of strange looks from those who wonder what on earth I need a chair for to go to the bathroom) and plop myself down to occupy the only adult restroom for 20 minute chunks at a time, only to emerge with a mysterious and inordinately large black bag slung over my shoulder as I smile nonchalantly at my colleagues waiting desperately (well the small handful who refuse to use the student bathrooms) to go to the bathroom. No, I do not really look forward to this twice daily ritual.
But there's more....given that there's so much to accomplish in a given day, I have to employ some of that extra creativity I mentioned earlier. So I use masking-tape to keep the shields "hands-free" and get work done on the computer while pumping. So there I was--storage closet, chair, masking tape, big black bag, pump, computer, the whole nine yards--when the school fire alarm went off. Ah yes--picture it if you dare. It was a mad rush to get myself presentable and head into the hall to sweep the building and then outside to make sure all students were accounted for. I still can't help giggling out loud as I think of it.
Yes, the lighter side (and unplugged version) of balancing work and motherhood.
10 comments:
I hate pumping! You are a saint. I'm curious...did you make it outside without any drips and spills all over your clothes? I'm sure I would have been a hot mess. Good luck with everything!
Beth, you are doing what is right for your family. Sometimes I hate how much pressure is put on the mothers in our society. My mother learned how to balance work and children and awesome babysitters for all of her children (and i think I turned out alright:)
Try not to beat yourself up too much about it!!
That is so funny! And I totally respect you for balancing. Sometimes I feel like I am having a hard time with that and feel like a terrible wife trying to balance working full time and going to school. All while commuting and training for a marathon. And trying to be a good wife. It's definatley an art! Good job!
I love too much information stories! Are you sure Michael is yours, he is all Sergio! :)
I know! He has so many of Serg's facial features. But the white skin is definitely my contribution. We keep expecting it to get a little darker, but so far nothing!
That is hilarious! I remember when I was pumping and I had to pump while standing up in a bathroom - luckily there was a vent making up for the suction noise. :) Your story put a smile on my face and made me giggle! Keep up the good work. I'm sure you'll be fine. You'll keep it together.
any mom who has the ingenuity to make masking tape straps for her breast pump and get her work done on her computer (and can respond to crises, aka fire alarms) has raised the bar for us all. i don't think you need to worry about balancing. except in that tiny bathroom/janitorial closet.
Way to be dedicated to the milk. His love for it shows in the pictures :)
Ah yes...Michael is definitely eating well. :) He has now TRIPLED his birth weight. Yikes!
Bethany, that is so funny, I worked through 3 of my kids and pumped a lot, in strange places. I am really glad that a fire alarm never went off while pumping, I am not sure I could have gotten everything back where it was supposed to go and get out of the closet. You are not a terrible mother!!
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